he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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