I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
