Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
