Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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