Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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