taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
