You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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