you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
