rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
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You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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