:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
