so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I love you.
Bad choice
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