You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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