i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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