dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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