I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
