ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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