kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
