We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
