this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
