I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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