i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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