Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
