She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
