Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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