people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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