We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
