erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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