I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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