Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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