I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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