afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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