My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
