Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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