That's intense
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
