remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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