plz talk dirty to me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
