Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize