well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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