So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
