So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
