I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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