gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
