Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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