I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
