if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize