What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
