Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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