dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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