I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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