I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
