How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
