You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
