I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize