I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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