Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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