i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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