You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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