He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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