I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
