help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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