Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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