Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
