im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
