If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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