respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
