that's an acceptable place to lick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
