I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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