I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
