found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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