WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
