We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
