Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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